mother threatens to kill me
during the seventh month of my life
great uncle John and my dad
haul her screaming and clawing
into the car for the trip to Mercyville
father left with three children to soothe
mother is admitted for insulin and
electro-shock therapies
after her return
father discovers how deep
her resentment can go how impossible
to resume except for their duty
to have more children
I am an altar boy
studying Latin
family and the Church
everything
I have to survive my father
a difficult battle to win
I live as a person
divided
the religious youth
and the man
cruising men
my fragile self fueled
by porn alcohol
and a woman
I’d always been in love with
from the farmland
to the coastal waters
where I finally
fit into myself