Tag Archives: Chicago

in a dream

two days ago, my father,
lost in Chicago he
said, called to ask if
Highway 60 would get you
to Interstate 94. I heard him repeat
the question twice, but I woke up
uneasy before I could answer.

Among the living, Dad was
rarely lost, and I found
it hard to believe he was
lost in my dreaming that night.

I remember trips when he drove and I was
the navigator and the point was
to use the map to choose
the least paved road

we thought the car could handle (and
we thought the car could handle
anything with time
and a patient driver).

My head has been full of maps
as long as I can remember, but I
couldn’t map a dream of my father lost
asking after two big roads that never cross
in the grid settlers etched on the surface of this island.

I have lived a stone’s throw from both roads
where one is named for Woody Guthrie
and the other (between Port Huron
and Montana) for Bishop Ford.

There must be some barely passable gravel road
between them, and I suppose the dream was
some kind of wake up call. They say

Highway 60 ended in Springfield
in 1926, where it met Route 66 (named
by some for Will Rogers) winding as the song says
from Chicago to LA. We used to meet there,
ten hours driving each, halfway between
Amarillo and Chicago.

Anyone who knows maps knows a map
will get you good and lost if it is
nothing but a grid settlers
wear settling on some surface.
It has to be personal. It has to be
about who is here, who is there, what we
mean by we when, whose mind is wandering

where. You can’t let it lie
flat. A statement of fact: We are
people of this generation, bred in at least
modest comfort, looking uncomfortably to the world

we think we
inherited,

the late Bishop of the Church of God
in Christ remembered between the place
the statement was made and the place a woman
who had the good sense to say no twice
long before I was born was
at home.

I remember her now, remember my father
never met a man he didn’t like, Will,
remember the place

I lived on the wild windy plains —
the end of the world, Granny said.

Then we’d sing a song and sing it
again, sit for an hour and not
say a word, imagine

another possible. No,
not unattainable (and — in
the next dream — I say
yes, in a way, yes.)

a public thing

Three hours of Plato and you
can bet your bottom dollar I
found a way to Zappa before we
got to the end of the second book.

Mind wide open, missed the bus at Wacker
and ended up in Sweetwater
asking why in God’s name Shiner
Bock is listed with stouts and porters.

Didn’t miss it exactly — driver
just didn’t want to risk
letting the little bit of cold
traveling with me on board. So

he pulled away without opening the door.
I tell the waitress I’m a native Texan
and I know shinerbock is no…

she says I know I know I’m from New Mexico.

Thinking neutral territory, I pass over
everything from Antwerp to Kalamazoo
and settle on a Colorado milk stout —

come to find out when she comes back and I say I
forgot to ask the most important question
that she is from Alamogordo.

I talk White Sands, Mescalero, tell her I grew up on
the edge in Oldham County and lived in Santa Fe.
Turns out she got married there and doesn’t
have anything against Texans. She says

I see you’re a writer, and conversation
waltzes across Texas to Amarillo, then on
through Sweetwater south to Austin. Weird

how mind goes. I sat down to think
flowers in crannied walls, universes
in grains of sand, flocks of pigeons rising
to see Shanghai whole, cranes leaving
lonely towers empty when they fly

and stumbled on Amarillo cold Chicago
streets so much closer to home because
the driver kept the door closed and I stopped
for a beer while I chose not to kill time stuttering

with me waiting for a train.