i lost another one who didn’t want love
or forever
or some way back to
the heart of america.
she just wanted kids.
white kids
named john and jesse and little sally.
kids that would get her off work
and never make her think
about california
and giraffes
or they way she felt at 16
when her parents stopped loving her
but said the words anyway,
who looked at their little girl
and decided she didn’t have it
so they went to the next one.
she wanted kids who’d adopt a dog
named lady or molly,
and a vet who might say “it’s a 1/4 pit-bull
but the dog will never stop looking like a lab”.
and the house could be new.
and the kids would never have
their own minds.
they would be patriots
and they would never fail like citizens.
their mother could change the truth and never have to explain
that she’d found love once
and it didn’t act
like it was supposed to,
that she didn’t say “hit me”
while age and time were still on her side.
the kids would never want to know
about the heart of america
and that it disappeared just around the time that
they made it cool
to sell love
for money